Brewers Pub

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Enjoy these sayings while enjoying your favorite beer.

• 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Stephen Wright
• One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn’t live like the previous generation. It hasn’t yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer. Ron Klugman, SVP, Coors Brewing
• Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Benjamin Franklin
• Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry
• Alright brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me, so just get me through this exam so I can go back to killing you slowly with beer. Homer Simpson
• Oh, lager beer! It makes good cheer, And proves the poor man’s worth; It cools the body through and through, and regulates the health. Anonymous
• Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” Jack Handy
• Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry
• I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety. Shakespeare, Henry V
• Make sure that the beer - four pints a week - goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop. Winston Churchill to his Secretary of War, 1944
• We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old. Martin Luther
• Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods. Bruce Carlton
• No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer. John Churchill, First Duke of Marlborough
• An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer. Confucius
• If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. David Daye
• He was a wise man who invented beer. Plato
• This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption… Beer! Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves, Friar Tuck
• Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. Kaiser Welhelm
• Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink. Whitstran Brewery sign

A study conducted by UCLA’s Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his forehead while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

This is just a quick look at our “funny stuff” image gallery. These are the random images that show up on the right side of the page, here in one place for your enjoyment.

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Wal-Mart customers will soon be able to sample a new discount item–Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of Modesto, California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $2 - $5 range.While wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wine into their shopping carts, “There is a large market for cheap wine,” said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at R. Williams University in Bristol, R.I. “The right name is definitely important.”

So, here we go…The TOP 12 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine…

12) Chateau Traileur Parc

11) White Trashfindel

10) Big Red Gulp

9) Grape Expectations

Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays”

7) NASCARbernet

6) Chef Boyardeaux

5) Peanut Noir

4) Chateau des Moines

3) I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!

2) World Championship Riesling

And the # 1 suggested name for Wal-Mart Wine…

1) Nasti Spumante

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary.
His wife was really angry.
She told him, ‘Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway
that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!’

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work.
When his wife
woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box,
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on
her robe, ran out to the driveway, and brought the box into the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Ed has been missing since Friday.

Contributed by: Andy Smith

A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.