Brewers Pub

How Smart Is Your Right Foot? Try This. It’s Pretty Neat !

Just try this…………..It is from an orthopedic surgeon……………………….
This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your right foot, but you can’t. It’s preprogrammed in your brain!!

1. While sitting where you are , at your desk, in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number “6″ in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!

I told you so!!!! And there’s nothing you can do about it. You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done, you are going to try it again, if you’ve not already done so. Try itn to your buddies, to frustrate them also.

In 1957 the respected BBC news show Panorama announced that thanks to a very mild winter and the virtual elimination of the dreaded spaghetti weevil, Swiss farmers were enjoying a bumper spaghetti crop. It accompanied this announcement with footage of Swiss peasants pulling strands of spaghetti down from trees. Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied that they should “place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”

Contributed by Mary Anne

Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over. The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face. Stunned, the driver asks, ”Why did you do that??”

The trooper responds, ”You’re in Texas now son, you have that license out and ready around here!”

”I apologize sir, I’m not from around here.”

The trooper then walks to the passenger side of the car, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down his window and the trooper takes out his club and smacks the passenger across the face.

”What was that for?” asked the passenger.

”I know your kind,” says the trooper, ”About two miles down the road you would have looked at your buddy and said ‘I wish that son of a bitch would have tried that crap with me!”’

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”

The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”

As the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists — two men and one woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

“We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her.” The first man said.“You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife,”

The agent replies, “Then you’re not the right man for this job.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent replies, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the office?”

“I give it to them,” replied the lawyer, “and then I send them a bill.”

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

Sometimes it pays to have your own wheels.

Two teenage suspects in a convenience store robbery in Oakville, Ontario, near Toronto, may have made a clean escape had they thought to bring a getaway car along for the heist.

Instead, the men fled the store on foot with an undisclosed amount of money, and then called for a taxi — which showed up with two police officers inside.

Unfortunately for the would-be robbers, the police had been tipped off about the robbery by the wife of the store’s lone employee that night. During a phone call with her husband she had heard a commotion, before the call was cut short.

She phoned the police who asked a local taxi company to alert them of any suspicious calls from the area. When an out-of-breath caller asked for a cab near the store, police met up with the taxi, took over from the driver and headed to the pick-up location.

The two men emerged from a wooded area and said they called for a cab. They were immediately arrested and driven to jail.

“Obviously not having a getaway vehicle or anything like that and calling a cab is generally not a sign of your most sophisticated criminal,” Detective Sergeant Kevin Maher of the Halton Regional Police Service told Reuters.