Brewers Pub

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’

‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk ‘I want to be in the
Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’

Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch’

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Soon after O’Shaughnessy clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office.

When O’Shaughnessy returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if it was bad news.’ To be shure it was, Boss, ‘he replied, ‘I just found out from Ireland that my mother died earlier this morning.’

‘Gosh, that’s awful, ‘replied the foreman, ‘Do you want the rest of the day off?’
‘No, ‘replied O’Shaughnessy. ‘ I’ll finish the day out.’

About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him in the office. This time when O’Shaughnessy returned he looked twice as glum, and the foreman asked if everything was alright.

‘Bejeezuz Boss, its even worse news. That was my brother, and his mother died today too!’

My pet dog is a doberman pincher. All day he goes around pinching dobermans.

Doctor: I will examine you for twenty dollars.
Patient: Go ahead Doctor. If you find it you can have it.

When I talk people listen with their mouth open.
Oh, you must be a dentist.

I wanted to be a dentist, but I didn’t have enough pull.

When I asked my girlfriend if I could see her home she handed me a picture of it.

It’s true that children brighten up a home.
They never turn off the lights.

My wife wanted a foreign convertible, so I bought her a rickshaw.

Have you noticed that your boss is the only one who watches the clock during the coffee break.

Husband: You have to admit that men have much better judgement than women.
Wife: You’re right. You married me and I married you.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing frogs in front of my eyes.
Doctor: Don’t worry, it’s only a hoptical illusion.