Brewers Pub

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the
turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’

‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the
bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the
top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..

An old country farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night she was always complaining about something.

The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag – it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, caught her smack in the back of the head.

Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement..

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, ‘Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I’d nod my head in agreement.’

‘And what about the men?’ the minister asked.

‘They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.’