Brewers Pub

Sign in a gas station: Coke — 49 cents. Two for a dollar

An actual tip from page 16 of the Health Physics “Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees.”

“Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes.”

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

Washer. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed — $100.

Snow blower for sale. Only used on snowy days.

Free puppies. Part German Shepherd, part dog.

Cows, calves never bred. Also, one gay bull for sale.

Free puppies: part Cocker Spaniel, part sneaky neighbor’s dog

Full-sized mattress. 20-year warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell.

Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat. Been out for a while. Better be reward.

Nice parachute. Never opened. Used once. Slightly stained.

Free Yorkshire Terrier. Eight years old. Unpleasant little dog.

Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 – $9 per hour.

Is an angle a triangle with only two sides?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

What happened to the first 6 “ups”?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re sitting there, staring at carpeting?

If a train-station is where a train stops, what happens at a workstation?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

When you’re sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?