Brewers Pub

One Sunday, sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.

He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies – two in the front seat and three in the back – wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! I always go exactly the speed limit. What seems to be the problem?”

“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”

“Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly! Twenty-two miles an hour!” the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22″ was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask . . . Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer asks with concern.

“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.”

This was recently in the Seattle Paper……… The title of The article was

“Best Come Back Line Ever.”

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old White Male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. On Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with Lewd and Lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public Intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch On his Way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, “You Know how a pumpkin Is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for Miles or at Least I thought there wasn’t anyone around” he stated in a Telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the Road, picked Out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut A hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged ‘need.’ “Guess I was Really into it, you know?” he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an Approaching Police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor Approached him. “It was an unusual situation, that’s for Sure,” said officer Taylor. “I walked up to Mr. Aylor and he’s just banging away at this Pumpkin.”

Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she Approached Aylor. “I said, “Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having Sex with a Pumpkin?”

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and Then he looked me straight in the face and said…..

“A pumpkin? ….. Shit…is it midnight already!?!”