Brewers Pub

This was recently in the Seattle Paper……… The title of The article was

“Best Come Back Line Ever.”

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old White Male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. On Friday night.

On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with Lewd and Lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public Intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch On his Way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, “You Know how a pumpkin Is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for Miles or at Least I thought there wasn’t anyone around” he stated in a Telephone interview.

Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the Road, picked Out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut A hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged ‘need.’ “Guess I was Really into it, you know?” he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an Approaching Police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor Approached him. “It was an unusual situation, that’s for Sure,” said officer Taylor. “I walked up to Mr. Aylor and he’s just banging away at this Pumpkin.”

Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she Approached Aylor. “I said, “Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having Sex with a Pumpkin?”

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and Then he looked me straight in the face and said…..

“A pumpkin? ….. Shit…is it midnight already!?!”

Mrs Jones was proud of her pumpkin patch, so she was real disappointed when some of the the local kids were taking them to make Jack-o-Lanterns.

One evening while Mrs Jones was soaking in the bath, the answer to the pumpkin thefts came to her. After supper she went out and put up a sign:
‘Beware, one of these pumpkins is coated with a special colourless rat poison!’

A day or two later when Mrs Jones checked out her pumpkin patch she was pleased to see that no more had been stolen. Then she saw a second sign next to hers which said: ‘NOW THERE ARE TWO!!’

John, a city slicker from Boston, bought a pumpkin patch. He thought that he could make more money from chickens than the previous owner made from pumpkins, so he went to a poultry farm and bought 50 chickens.

’50 is a lot of chickens for that little pumpkin patch,’ commented the proprietor. ‘I am used to big business’ John replied.’

A week later John was back at the farm. ‘I need another 50 chickens,’ he said. ‘Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming,’ the poultry farmer told him.

‘Oh yes,’ John replied. ‘It’ will be Ok if I can just iron out a few problems.’ ‘Problems?’, asked the farmer. ‘Yeah,’ replied the John, ‘I think I planted that first batch too close together.’